A Stag and Werewolf Party
by Carnivalgirl
Summary: James has a 'genius and foolproof plan' to get Lily to fall in love with him, but will organising a joint birthday party with Remus be easier said than done? Sirius and Peter have seen it all before, but maybe James'll be lucky this time. JPLE.


**A/N:** This is an extended version of a fic I wrote for **Ichigo No Ki'**s birthday. In 1978, Easter was on March the 26th, and the 27th, according to DH, was James Potter's birthday. I thought this information went well with a little idea I've had since reading that book, as Remus's birthday, according to JKR's website, is in the same month. Also, Liatmrow (and his cronies) appeared for the first time in **Now We Are Sixth Years**.

**A Stag (and Werewolf) Party**

It was the beginning of March in 1978, and though the Easter holidays were approaching spring was not yet fully in the air. One Sunday afternoon it was tipping down with rain and Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew were spending the time in their dormitory. Sirius was lying on James's bed, reading a Quidditch magazine (he couldn't be bothered to revise after a big lunch), while Peter sat beside him and stared at a textbook in the hope that his brain would absorb it. Sirius did enjoy the various models and the way they zoomed back and forth, but he'd read every word of the thing now and was starting to get bored.

"Wonder where Prongs is." Peter commented. "Reckon he's at Quidditch practice?"

"Nah, it's too wet." Sirius replied, glancing out the window at the grey sky. "He's probably bothering Moony in the library."

Peter shrugged and returned to his work, wishing, as he usually did at exam time, that there were charms to make you remember as well as forget.

As if Sirius's words had Summoned him, the door suddenly burst open and James Potter hurtled into the room. There was a huge grin on his face, and a strange glint in his eyes that was a mixture of inspired and crazy. His glasses were even more lopsided than usual. Recognising the presence of an idea in his best friend's head, Sirius sat up eagerly. Peter also threw down his work and looked up at James, relieved to have an excuse for a break.

"Padfoot," James declared as predicted, "I have a genius and foolproof plan!"

"For a prank?" Sirius and Peter asked simultaneously.

"I believe it was my idea!" Remus Lupin, who had followed James at a sensible pace, shouted across the room as he came in. James ignored him. He was almost bouncing with excitement.

"This Easter Monday, which also happens to be my glorious birthday, Lily Evans _is_ going to fall in love with me."

Sirius groaned loudly and picked up the magazine again. Even Peter rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to send her chocolate again? She won't want it."

James looked away with the memory of last Easter's catastrophe, his excitement fading slightly. "She didn't have to throw them away. My feelings were hurt."

"Actually, she gave them to the House Elves and _they_ threw them away," Peter corrected.

"Such a dreadful waste of chocolate," Remus said quietly.

"Anyway!" James said, brightening up again. "Moony and I have a genius plan to get Evans to fall in love with me."

Sirius gave Remus a look that was both curious and annoyed. "You?"

His friend tugged at his shirt awkwardly. "Well, since my birthday is March the tenth, and James's is March the twenty-sixth, I thought we could have a joint birthday party. At his house. We thought of it before when we were eleven, but kind of forgot for a few years. Anyway, James thought he could invite all his Quidditch friends..."

"And he," James continued "could invite all _his_ friends! If Evans wants to come to Remus's party, she'll have to come to _my_ party, you see?"

Sirius gave James a pensive look for a moment, then turned back to the magazine with a shrug. "Should be fun."

Peter was already looking forward to it. "Brilliant! Just tell me what time and I'll be there."

"You two can be guests of honour." James replied warmly. "That is to say, you can turn up before everyone else and have all the good drink."

At that moment James felt as if someone was glaring at him, and turned around to confront an annoyed-looking Remus.

"Do you have a problem with that, Moony? I seem to recall, _you_ were a guest of honour at my party last summer."

Remus sighed. "Well…it's not that I don't like alcohol, I mean that ice wine your parents had last year was very nice, but please, we can't have people getting drunk."

James laughed incredulously. "Er, what? Yes we can!"

"When people get drunk, they get sick, they get angry, they cry, they do inappropriate things in public," Another prefect's glare, this time in Sirius's direction. "…and they tell me things I just _don't want to know_!"

"Are you still on about that?" Peter asked, a little anxiously.

"It's not something I can forget easily."

James shook his head. "You can take your badge off, Moony. It's my house, and I say we're having alcohol, and lots of it."

Sirius and Peter exchanged a look, and Sirius groaned very quietly, for the second time that afternoon, as the realisation of what was going to ensue hit him.

"I know." Peter whispered. "But we'll get a good time out of it eventually."

Once, in some naïve corner of Sirius's mind, it had seemed to him that a party run jointly by Remus and James would be a lot of fun. Images of it had formed in his head; Quidditch, delicious food, rock music played deafeningly loud, girls in pretty dresses, seemingly endless drinks from the overly-generous Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Perhaps they would give Sirius a present to make up for outrageously spoiling James, just as his parents used to give Regulus something on Sirius's birthday (though never vice versa, for some reason).

But, unfortunately for their friends, neither Remus nor James wanted to let their dream birthday party go without a fight, or rather not a fight but lots and lots of bickering. A History of Magic lesson, even more of a doss lesson than usual because Binns was letting them study independently, nearly caused Sirius to snap. He sent a note to Peter across the room;

_**Wormtail,**_

_**It seems we are attending a fancy dress party, with no stupid costumes. It will be a barbecue, with lots of delicious red meat but no food because James's dad would have to be there and how is he supposed to pull Evans with his dad there? There will be a massive game of Quidditch at the end but no Quidditch because what if you're not good at sports like Remus? We will drink gallons of booze but no alcoholic drinks because Remus doesn't want to know who fancies his MUM, PETER. There will be swing music but no jazz because who in the hell has JAZZ at their party? We will lie to the library swots that it ends at eight, and we will let them stay all night. We will have an egg hunt, but we won't have an egg hunt because that's childish, Remus, and besides, everyone will just use magic, but what is Easter without egg hunts, James?**_

_**We will have a chocolate cake, but a vanilla sponge cake because James thinks that's what birthday cakes should be, but Remus thinks chocolate cakes are wonderful, but James doesn't think you can have icing on a chocolate cake, particularly with 'Happy Birthday James and Remus' in big letters as it must be, so James is a cake racist **__**and besides the cake says 'Remus' first because Remus was born first. Well that is unfair, just because Remus's mother gave birth before James's, if James had been premature he would be first. And besides James is first alphabetically!**_

_**In short, AARRRRGGGHHHHH! SAVE ME!**_

_**Padfoot.**_

_**PS. Oooh look, I haven't done any work.**_

He was especially frustrated when he got this reply:

Dear Padfoot,

What? I don't get it.

Wormtail

PS. I haven't done any work either. He He He. 

PPS. I DON'T FANCY MRS LUPIN ANY MORE. REALLY.

When it came to the Easter holidays and he and Sirius went home, James thought he would win. Surely his parents wouldn't give Remus something he wanted if their son didn't want it? However, it turned out that Mr. and Mrs. Potter really wanted everything 'balanced for you two boys…you two young men, really!'

Sirius had observed his foster mother's loving smile with some trepidation, but there was something rather magical about Mr. and Mrs. Potter, even when their fantastic liberty with money was kept in line by the more budget-conscious Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, who, for example, didn't think it was necessary to look around for Christmas crackers just because James and Remus wanted to be original and confuse everyone. Besides, fun as it was to run around the supermarket with a trolley and a lot of cash, there _was_ revision to be done, even though the boys in the Potter household persistently asserted they didn't need it.

The Potter household began to fill with food and party things, chocolate eggs especially. It was very difficult at first for Sirius to look in the cupboard for lunch or energy snacks and not pull out a massive bag of marshmallows, even though Master James had told his house elf not to hold back with a rolling pin on any 'scavengers'. A pile of both jazz and rock records was put together. James and Remus shook hands when a large marble cake was made in their eighteen-year-old honour (no cake discrimination there) and soon Sirius and Peter were able to watch them compile their guest list and write out their invitations.

"Frank Longbottom…Oliver Fleming…Moriarty…Latymer…Lily Evans!"

"Aren't they sweet?" Sirius commented to Peter with a sarcastic smile. "It's like they're planning their wedding."

"I HEARD THAT!" James shouted, before returning to his list with a clearly heterosexual nod to Remus.

"Are we adding…Meadowes?"

"If you wouldn't mind." Remus answered, blushing slightly.

In the final week before Easter, when he and Sirius was attempting to revise in the living room, James's mind continually wandered to the topic of Lily. Sometimes, if he was in a very good mood, he thought about her dress robes and how high above her knees they'd be. If he was in a good mood, he wondered about the way he'd gradually win her over, perhaps borrowing a technique or two from Sirius. But if he was in a bad mood (and Potions revision tended to induce this state of mind) he began to wonder if she'd actually turn up. After all, everything else hadn't worked, why should this?

Just then the fire flared up, and James turned to see Remus's face in the flames. He looked worried.

"Hello, James, Sirius." he said, with a half-smile. James didn't much like the sound of his real name, 'Prongs' would have been far less worrying.

"Hello. Something wrong?" Sirius asked, getting to the point.

"Yes, er…you know, the 24th?"

"Good Friday?"

"Bad Friday. It's a full moon."

James winced visibly. _Why does this always happen at the worst times_, he thought. It was as if he had said this out loud, because Remus began to look even more tragic.

"James, I'm sorry, I forgot about it, you know it happens sometimes with revision and everything. It's going to ruin things, isn't it? I'm sorry, I'm such a…bloody…"

His friends rolled their eyes. Outbursts of self-hatred from Remus were almost periodic and varied in degrees. Normally they just let him carry on until it blew over, but this was quite serious. If Remus wasn't coming Lily probably wouldn't want to either, and even if he did and was ill she'd probably rather sit with him than dance with James. Surely there was something that could be done…?

"Moony, didn't you, and Madam Pomfrey for that matter, say you've been feeling better since you…" he lowered his voice slightly "have had company?"

"Oh, definitely." Remus nodded.

"Well then, I think we know what we have to do. The three of us will transform with you. We won't have to tell your parents we're Animagi, we'll all just sleep over and then sneak out to join you when your parents are in bed."

"Where do you transform, anyway? In the cellar? The garden?"

"In St. Mungo's, when Mum and Dad have the money."

"Damn."

Sirius looked up at the ceiling for a moment in thought, then cried out; "Wait! I have a cunning plan!"

_This fellow's sudden appearance was puzzling not only to the patient, but to his Healers and his parents. He seemed old, but had a bad case of acne and a youthful voice, as if he were a teenager who had taken an Aging Potion, or an old man who had tried to be young again. He also had this bizarre, unintelligible foreign accent._

"_I 'ave been doing some experiments on verevolf patients and zis young man seems ideal to test my 'ypothesis. I intend no 'arm, only to play zis recording of animal noises while 'e is in ze transformation area. I believe zat ze imagined presence of ozzer animals will calm him and thus improve 'is general post-transformation 'ealth."_

"_I don't really like the idea of my son being part of an experiment." Mr Lupin said._

"_Mr__. Lupin? I 'ave encountered your vork in ze Eenglish scientific journals. It is fascinating."_

_M__r.__ Lupin had to smile. "Thank you very much."_

_His wife also smiled. "John works very hard, you know."_

_The Healers had whispered amongst themselves. "Well, we don't normally allow strangers to treat our patients. Are you a qualified Healer? What is your name, and where are you from?"_

_The aged academic held up an identity card which did not seem forged. "Professor Liatmrow, from ze State University of Lithuania…."_

"…_Or_ I could just transform as normal and see how it goes."

"That might be easier." Sirius conceded.

They gave Remus their best wishes as he disappeared from the fire, and then turned to each other.

"So much for foolproof, eh?"

"Don't worry about it, Prongs. You're not about to let the Curse of the Big Fat Floating Boulder get in the way of a good party, are you now? You're a Gryffindor, after all."

James chuckled. "Ah yes, the Curse of the BFFB. We really thought that was witty in second year, didn't we?"

"Are you suggesting it isn't?"

They both felt relaxed then, and returned to their text books.

When the full moon did arrive on Good Friday, James and Sirius made a good effort at carrying on as normal, even when they got an alarmed owl from Peter panicking about what he'd just seen in the sky. Mr. and Mrs. Potter easily found ways to occupy them, whether by reminding them to revise _because we know you're bright sparks, but it's important you feel prepared_ or by getting them to tidy up the many rooms of the house. Mr. Potter was even beginning to think the garden looked shabby, but James couldn't recall ever going to someone's house and being sad enough to scrutinize their lawn.

Remus lived through to Monday without anything happening to cause alarm. After going home from St. Mungo's through the Floo Network (they really needed some other method of transportation, it was no good for headaches) he survived Saturday morning with sleep, home made hot cross buns from his mum, and a bit more sleep. Then in the afternoon he got some hot chocolate and a story from his dad – Mr. Lupin was one of those parents who didn't mind making extra efforts for their teenage children – and then slept a bit more. His friends joined him at his mother's chocolate shop on Easter Sunday afternoon, and they shared the giant chocolate egg that had been on display since the beginning of March. The combination of chocolate, meringue and fondant got a bit too much for the other three, but everyone was very satisfied to watch Remus finish every last bit of it.

Finally it was Monday, and they all congregated at James's house to celebrate a little before the party. James's parents, who had really spoiled him last year and this year with the party, gave him the small presents of a book, a renewed subscription to his favourite magazine, and some cufflinks which matched the watch they gave him for his seventeenth ("The bloke in the shop said if a single witch sees them twinkle, she'll follow you all night. So make sure you stand near a pretty one!" Mr. Potter had chuckled). Sirius, Remus and Peter, who, they had to admit, were a bit busy studying to do anything big or hilarious this year, had bought a gigantic canvas and covered it with photographs as well handprints and footprints. With painted on eyes and mouths, the prints would wink and shout things like "I'm handy!" and "A sock, a sock, my kingdom for a sock! It's freezing!"

After smoked salmon sandwiches for lunch, they needed to get ready. As often happens with parties, Remus and James's timing for preparation was a bit off (Mrs. Potter, the queen of good organisation and hosting, was with her husband at her friend's house for night). By the time the first guests were arriving, James was only in the shower.

"OH, HE'S JUST UPSTAIRS, FIRST DOOR ON THE RIGHT!" Sirius had shouted to get to James's earshot. "Just walk in, Evans, he won't mind!"

"Evans!" James shouted over the pouring water, and slipped on a bar of soap. He could hear his friend laughing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Twazzock…think I'll hide the marshmallows…"

Once he came downstairs, clad in some shocking white dress robes, James was pleased to see the party was already going well. The three groups of their mutual friends, Remus's friends and James's friends were not standing separately but starting to mingle, and half the Butterbeer was gone in half an hour. Once the music was going, Peter managed to get everyone on the dance floor by performing and teaching some strange thing called the Time Warp (he didn't go back or forward in time, it really was just a dance). Fortunately wizard music was something everyone could appreciate, especially with a player that let the music flow out in visible waves of light which bounced off people's bodies as they, well, bounced.

Their presents ranged from a book for Remus called 'The Shape of Your Soul-Why a Patronus is More Than a Defence Charm' to a card for James reading 'I'm getting you a racing broomstick...I'm sending it in the post piece by piece' with a twig Spellotaped on it. There was a strange case involving Davey Gudgeon, two grapefruits and a banana, and a pass-the-ice-cube-with-your-mouth game that scared some of Remus's more reclusive friends. They played Quidditch, but the team kept falling apart when people chose beer over brooms. Oliver Fleming borrowed Mr. Potter's pointiest hat and cloak and performed an entertaining tap dance, unfortunately spilling the chicken curry all over the floor. James, much to his best friend's chagrin, told people the dog would lick everything up in the morning. There were bowls of crisps, sweets as well as hot dogs and other barbecue e prepared by James's house elf, who wouldn't have minded a bit if James had got off with Lily in a cupboard. They also played a drinking game which ended up being more forfeit than game when Dorcas Meadowes decided to make things harder by having everyone swap names.

It began to come to the time when cupboard moments would start happening, and Remus and James were slightly on their guard even though everything fine in the house had been locked in the attic. True, neither of them recalled a time when things had gotten _really_ out of hand (praise the Repairing Charm), but Remus disliked being cried on at his own birthday party and James did _not_ want to see the wrong people with their shirts off.

Just then, he thought he heard Evans's high voice from somewhere in the corner of the living room.

"Get off me!"

"Come on, honeycake, I'm your friend…"

_Honeycake? Even I was never that bad_, James thought, and approached to see his cousin Jonty, sixteen years old and after anything shaped like a woman. He was a big lad, and James could see Evans didn't want to have to pull her wand out. Fortunately, after seeing the boy's hand on his sweetheart's posterior, he didn't feel the same way. He approached Jonty and grabbed his collar.

"Listen here. You leave her alone, alright? She said 'Get off'."

Jonty turned to him. He was bleary-eyed and looked pale. "James, mate, don't be a tosser, I'm just trying to get off with her…"

James only glared at him. "You're sixteen, I'm eighteen. I can use a wand, you can't. Do you think it's wise to ignore me?"

His cousin nodded, and gave Evans a disappointed look as he staggered off to sit on the stairs.

Evans gave him a genuine grateful smile. "Thank you. I'm sorry to be so… you know…I just don't like that sort of thing."

She looked exceptionally beautiful, even in the dark. He noticed she wore a cream dress that flattered her figure and her red hair was sleek and shiny. She had also emphasised her lips with a perfect shade of red lipstick, and her teeth were a fine shade of white-probably that new toothpaste all the witches were buying. James had to breathe deeply and remember Remus's advice-"_Just don't be arrogant. And call her by her first name, she's your guest_"- as well as Sirius's _"Don't mention Snivellus."._

"Nah, it's fine. Remus and I agreed we wouldn't have any funny business."

"Did you?"

"Well, yeah…I mean it's all fun and games, but not for people on the end of it." If he had been two years younger he might have made a crude joke involving the word 'end' but it probably wasn't appropriate.

"I'm really having a good time, by the way! For the most part, at least. Your house is…"

"I know…" James was a little embarrassed by it sometimes.

"How big is your garden?"

"About an acre, give or take."

"Jesus," Lily said. "You should raise Hippogriffs, or something."

He laughed, and she grinned. They had never shared a joke before, apart from the various funny moments in class, which didn't really count.

"Do you…not hate me, then?"

He suddenly felt terrible for asking this; it was silly to ask people how they felt, it was like when Peter asked in first year if they were friends…it was something you figured out, for goodness's sake…

"No," she said, "I don't. I have to admit, I don't. I started hating you in first year, and then I _really_ hated you in fifth when you were asking me out at every spare moment! But over the past couple of years I've had to come to terms with the fact you're not a git any more, and I'm glad you and Remus had a party together because I don't think I'd've seen it otherwise."

James had been in a dreamlike state since he heard the word 'No'. "Thank you."

Before she could reply, the music suddenly stopped and Sirius and Peter entered the room carrying the cake between them. Everyone in the room started singing, but it trailed off a little and finished with Sirius, Peter…and _Lily._

"Make a wish," she instructed Remus and James as they blew out the candles. "That's the Muggle tradition."

James made his instantly. "Thought of it."

Two years ago, she would have guessed what it was and hexed him to burp slugs. This year though, she looked happy.

"Don't tell me, or it won't come true. Happy Birthday…"

With that, she disappeared amongst the others, and the music started up again. People began to call to James from all around.

"James, someone's trodden a banana into your carpet. Just thought you wanted to know."

"James, what's my name again?"

"James, will you tell Davey to stop calling me Geraldine?"

"Does the Night Bus come at two in the morning?"

But James didn't care. He felt more elated than a student of NEWTs ever ought to be. Was he in love? Perhaps yes, perhaps no, but he sang to himself as he strolled to the kitchen to get a knife for the cake.

"_Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man, no time to talk…"_


End file.
